Life with my f'ed up sleeping pattern

Well all was fine. Till I have been dealing with a hard time getting to sleep, and not being able to do anything during the day! Seeing I have been falling asleep early am. Now I'm taking 4:30 to 5am. It's been a buch bullshit I have a life, and if I have to fight this then. I will even if it means taking my sleep medicine that I haven't in months, but I so need my regular sleep back it drives me to complete inability to function till after I sleep till way after 1pm. It's a big stressor for me and my family. I have over come this once before but it seems like I'm plagued with the problem again. To brake this will be my doing, and my loss of my constructive sleep schedule seems it wil be in my reach when I master my ability to sleep. When I need, and that's taking matters into my hands. I do not want to watch the day pass me away! Not being  able to enjoy the great warmth of the spring and summer days in the close day's. This is where I ask you all... Am I the only one who has been plagued with this awful offsetting problem in these lately beautiful nights and days past. 

Animals accident. Or is it an accident on the owner.

So as of today. I was laying down, when my partner was up. He opened the door, and let my dog Gucci out of the room. After a few hours I hear a commotion. Well turns out my dog made an accident on the carpet. To me I think he made a mess in the middle of the living room. When in all reality it was on the rug rite near the door. See I'm one who grew up with dogs, and knowing that you have to let your dog be able to have the time to do his business and get it all out. My partner seems to think opening the door standing there for about a minute or so. That's sufficient for everything to be done. Now that's not even enough time for a person to go to the bathroom, and even get to the point being able to commence going to the bathroom. After asking my partner how long ago and how long did you let him out. He said,"not long ago and the usual amount of time. Knowing how long he usually lets him out. I see that my dog had attempted to try to get attention to go out. Seeing it's in front of the door that he usually goes out to do his deeds. Now my partner and his grandmother are mad at the dog. I then go and make my arguments saying, "the amount of time he lets him out is not enough for him to have completely of done anything but maybe pee." I then ask his grandmother, "when was the last time he let him out, in reply she says, "it was earlier today about ten am." It was then 1 pm. I told his grandmother it's not the dogs fault, that he could not get out to go to the bathroom. He needs to be let out for a longer time. My partner tries to say he was out while cutting the grass. I ask the grandmother was he out while he was doing the grass. She said, no he was in the house. I then walked to where he was and said, "why say he was out when I was just told, "he was inside while you were cutting the grass." He got mad and said, "I though he was, and he always runs down the road." That's when his grandmother said, "he never goes further than the neighbors." Now I know after letting him out for ten minutes to fifteen minutes, and letting him do what he needs to. When I call him to come in he comes from the back yard so if he goes down the road then my dog that's a almost five pounds now climbs fences talented, maybe he could have also learned to one doors. Then we all don't have to worry he can let himself out. But now I ask, "do YOU readers all see that what many say is the animals fault is really the owner in this case. Not mine he dose what he need when I let him out for an addiquit amount of time. So would it be the dogs fault that made it to the door so if he could have gotten out he would have done what he needed outside. I'm so tired of the problem being his when it's the lack of effort on the other owners part. 

Money money money.

This thing we call money runs our life. This pice of paper rules our everyday. This is something I can only think is only a little set back. Why when people do the right thing, are we always the ones that get the most backlash. Living like this is something I wouldn't want someone to go threw this. There is some stressful things that make me wonder how and why I haven't been given my money rightfully owed to me. Ok I'm done bitching

Sitting to a new tattoo

Well finally I got to get inked for my birthday. Hence my birthday was in January. I finally got the work I have been wanting. On valentines day I'm getting another. There's a special were there calling it- Valintatts day which is a great idea. There going to have lil cards up from each artist and you pay 40 for that exact tattoo no changes. It's a great idea I mean great. I'm super pumped it's something new other then the usual flowers and candy. Im more excited then my baby but I know he will find something he likes and it's something that will never break or make you gain weight and the flowers die. Well I'm not saying for every valentines day but this one would be great. Well till then I'll keep y'all posted.

What to do when your back is against the wall.

Everyday it's a test of fill and faith. I have so much faith in those who also have faith in me. There is so much I wish was perfect but perfect is a ordinary thing. I told myself I would never never conform to the masses. To be like every other sheep amongst the massive herd. Why be what everyone want when you alone could be a shining star that so different from everyone around you. As told by many elders and people of great accomplishment have been the opposite than the norm. I will never be one of the masses a reproduction of what the world thinks is what should be. I'm a free spirt a person of everlasting change one who will never walk in the conforms of the everyday what's expected of us. We are free, free to live how we want and by the will of our own beliefs. I strive to be the utmost different from everyone and anyone. Why fall inline when you can lead the line. I'm a leader not a follower. This I will take with me for many many years. For I am the beginning and the end of the old and new. I'll always be the new. In with the new and be a leader. Followers are always behind others waiting or the next best thing. Why wait when you can be the next best thing or be the creator or influence. Please never take my rebel state of mind as a reason to fear. I'm a believer and creator of new and ever changing new ways of life. I take no extremist outlook nor a change to the peace of life. But I will forever walk to the beat of my own drum. Please know I'm a great person. One day a great role model. I pray many will follow in there own way. There own drum beast out there. So listen and soon you may hear the beat. That was sent just for you just for YOU. Along with many others. Make the greatness we all strive for. Be unique be free be. JUST BE!!!! You....

What I was writing about yesterday went all wrong.

As I recall my last post was to do about how to go into tests with the utmost positivity and positive thoughts. I was going to test for well i can say an unknown amount of tests. I arrive to have only to write an essay So while I was in the testing facility. I will quote the words that were said to me. "this is a test of where you need to be placed." "So there is nothing wrong, with getting something wrong." "Then the test, will scale what your next question should be." "Set to be not to hard or to easy." "so there is no problem with failing, it then helps you know where you have to brush up, and learn before you can move on." that then made doubt and negative thoughts enter my mind along with others. Then you are then ok with the fact of failing. Remember that College's thrive and live off our money. Money for classes you need due to placement tests. So if you can take from where I let all seep in and spoil my testing. Well have a good day I have to realize that my dream has just been kicked out from me.

Pagan days.

So on this day I sit to prep for a round of test that truly have no good way of studying. So should I dare to say a prayer or spell that may easy me threw. But in the end its always down to the common scenes of the task at hand for me or you. So I'll do my best and go in with positivity and know I'm truly the smartest in the room and will never have to feel beneath. For I am goddess and with that I know I'll be great whit no matter what the test them selfs read. So as I now know not to fret my mind will ease. Knowing its only a test to tell me where I am the best. See with the loss of negativity there is the greater power of positiveness. The law of attraction says to be positive and think positive so then to attract the positive and only receive the good while the negative falls to the wayside. An it and harm none. For so as above so below so within so without. I cast away my worry thought to a time and place that can not return for I am one with the gods and goddess so negative can not dwell in me for I am what I will my self to be. I am a achiever I am smarter then one who doubts there own abilities. For I am me an will what the god an goddess have possessed me to be. I am positivity.